5 Tips to Reducing Kid Clutter

I'm slightly embarrassed to say that our kids have too much stuff.  I will take the blame for this, but I would like to add a few honorable mentions in the blame category:

• "Free" stuff - from birthday parties, school parties, parades, etc.  This stuff adds up, and most of it is cheap and not worth keeping.
• "Relatives and friends" - our relatives and friends are great and wonderful, and since they are great and wonderful, they give my kids stuff, and while most of the time this is good, it is still "stuff" and it takes up space.
• "Bargains" - whether it's rummages, thrift shops, or the clearance rack at target, I'm a sucker for a bargain.  Darn you, bargains!

Now, reducing the clutter is a constant battle, but I've found that some techniques work better than others.  I'm pretending to write to you, the reader, but really, I think I may just re-read this to myself every few months.

Tip 1:  Start small

Don't be overwhelmed by the amount of stuff you have.  If you do nothing, you are no worse off than you started.  Maybe you can pick a small area to start - for example, the bookshelf.  Recently, I took on the sippy cup bin in the kitchen.  This way, every time you go to that area, you can feel encouraged by your success.  

Tip 2:  Five Lame things

Find five lame things that you want to get rid of.  Present them to your kid and ask which 1 they want to donate.  In my experience, if each thing is presented individually, the kid wants to keep them all (even if they secretly know that the 5 things are all lame).  This is sort of a win/win.  The kid feels like they get to keep 4 things.  The kid even willingly picks something to donate.  And, something gets donated.

Tip 3:  The 20 Percent

You may not like certain things that your kid plays with all the time - they may be cheap and noisy and annoying or whatever, but if your kid is aware that they exist, then move on.  Although I cannot prove it, I believe that there are some toys in this house that could be removed without anyone ever remembering that they exist.  I also have no proof, but I believe this is about 20% of the overall toy population.  Focus on this 20%.  I also want to mention that some of these toys may seem like they should not be in the 20% because they were expensive or they were gifts, or you feel sentimental about them for whatever reason.  Be sure to check your motivation in keeping things - is it for you or for them?

Tip 4:  Secret Donations

You don't have to tell the kids that toys are going away... especially that illusive 20% that I just mentioned.  So, if you know won't be missed... maybe they can go swim with the fishes (or be dropped off at goodwill), kapeesh?  And, if you are using this technique make sure that your significant other does not "out" you - if they find the bag and announce it to your kids, you will have some explaining to do.  Sure, you could bring your significant other in on the secret, but I've found that just leads to discussion about which toys really qualify to be "secret donated" and then slows things down, so sometimes it's easier to just be really good about covering your tracks.

Tip 5:  Rewards

The rewards are somewhat intangible.  Less clutter = More sanity.  But you know what?  It's okay to offer up a tangible reward, too.  If the kid participates, maybe you get a new kids app on your phone (this takes up no space in your house), or you buy yourself a fancy coffee drink (which also takes up no space, once consumed).  Or, maybe you all celebrate a with a trip to zoo, or the park, or wherever you like to go.  Or, maybe you just kick up your feet and feel good about yourself, and I think you should feel good - even if it was just a few sippy cups that moved along, because you are moving in the right direction.

If you give a 4 year old a tape dispenser....

A construction vehicle securely taped to our train table

My 4 year old son was always asking for tape in order to fix or attach things.  And, when he wanted tape, he always seemed to want MORE tape than I would offer him.  I don't know if all kids are like this, but mine seemed to have an interest in connecting things,... with tape.

So, Santa hit a serious home run this year when he delivered a Chameleon Tape Dispenser and a 6-pack of Scotch Tape Refills.

Yes, the Chameleon himself has been taped.

Now, I have to tell you, this kid can really tape!  Below is just a sampling of the projects I have found around the house thanks to our new tape dispenser (and 6 extra rolls of tape).

So far, these projects seem to fall into a few categories, the first being "Artzooka."

Under the influence of "Artzooka" 

We don't have cable TV, but over our antenna, we get a Canadian TV station with kids shows, and one of the shows my boys like is called Artzooka.  The premise is that this Artsy Canadian (Jeremy) makes all sorts of art projects from things around the house (a jet pack made out of water bottles, a yeti made out of a disposable coffee cup and popsicle sticks).  Most of all, I think Jeremy likes to use tape.  I believe the following projects were inspired by Jeremy.

"Shooter" 

The shooter was one of many projects involving either toilet paper rolls or paper towel rolls.  It also included a popsicle stick propped up over a pom-pom.  This made the popsicle stick have just the right resistance to be a good trigger for the shooter.

"shield face"

This shield face was one of my favorites.  I am not sure exactly how it shields your face, but I can tell you that it was made using one of the Scotch Tape refill boxes (the gift that keeps on giving), some string and a popsicle stick.

"star fainer"

This gadget is made out of a wine cork, pipe cleaners and a sticker, and is called a "star fainer."  Believe it or not, this star fainer can make you be wherever you want to be.  It was suggested to me that I pick California, so I did, and voila! I was there.  For the record, California looked a lot like my living room.  

"cannonball juicer"

As the name suggests, the cannonball juicer blasts juice at your face.  At this point, I have not seen it in action, and I think it would be best to leave it that way.  It is made of an empty hot chocolate tin, popsicle sticks, an empty paper towel roll and purple pom-poms.

"Artzooka" 8 year old style

"plane"

My 8 year old also loved his little brothers new tape dispenser and joined right in to create the clothespin and popsicle stick plane (above) and the wooden ninja star (below). 

"ninja star"

And, since my 8 year old is nothing if not practical, he realized that all these gadgets were going to be using a lot of power, so he created a recharger (below).  I believe this is a universal recharger because he explained it works for all of the newly created gadgets (but not my cell phone).  This universal recharger can be made with some felt, paper, a couple buttons and stickers.

"recharger"

STAY! THERE!

The next category that these tape projects seem to fall into are things that just won't stay where they are supposed to stay, but thanks to the miracle of tape, they have been attached (whether they like it or not).

It is possible that Chewbacca wanted to ride on this remote control car.  There really was not a good place for him to ride, though - this thing has no seats.  As you can see, the problem has been solved.  The same can be said for this lizard that I found riding a plane (below).

For my birthday last year, I was given a pink race car which, unfortunately, did not have a good seat for the driver.  I was happy to see that, Robin (one of our favorite super-heroes) was chosen.

Mystery Boxes

These next two projects may not look like much, but I have decided that they warrant their own tape project category of "mystery boxes."  They are kleenex boxes that have been sealed off.  Taped to the top of the first box is a small wooden frog that my husband got in India (see closeup photo below).  The second is without charms.  The fun thing about these, though, is that when I shake them, I can hear something thumping around inside.  Is it a super-hero mini-figure?  A chapstick?  Possibly even something I think I've misplaced?  But since I am that kid who never once peeked at her Christmas presents before Christmas day, these boxes remain a mystery to me.

mystery box #1

mystery box #1 - wooden frog

mystery box #2

Now, my blog will need to come to an end, but  I believe the tape dispenser will continue to provide us with happiness and entertainment.  To be fair, the tape dispenser has not been all fun and games.  Three band-aids have been put to use due to that sharp cutting edge.  But as with skinned knees, I can't protect those kids from everything.

I know the band-aids are a bit of a downer and I don't want to end with a downer, so I will leave you with this picture of my son's beloved "piggy."

"piggy" - with a party hat taped to his face

Super-hero Lotion

The problem: 
Lotion sucks.  I know it.  My kids know it.  It's greasy.  It's cold.  It makes your pajamas cling to you after your bath.

- before -

But, I was tired of getting the "bad mom" look from my kid's doctor as she told me for the um-teenth time that my kids had dry skin.  I went home and after just one day of forcing lotion onto my children (I'll spare you the details), I knew I needed a new approach.  Well, out of necessity comes invention, and "Superhero Lotion" came to be.

My solution:  "Superhero Lotion"
Superhero Lotion is just regular lotion - the superhero powers are all in the application.

How to apply:

The Superman "S" - make an "S" on their chest, this gives them Superman powers.
The Zorro "Z" - make a "Z" on their back - this gives them good sword fighting skills.
The Fast Leg - one leg needs a quick zip down the leg - this is the fast leg.
The Zig-Zag Leg - one leg needs a zig-zag motion - this is for good zig-zagging.
Fast Feet - the feet should be quickly patted to make them "fast feet."
Good Sitting skills - pat the butt for good sitting skills (yes, this is a superhero power)
The "I love you" Arm - one arm gets a straight line "I" for the "I love you" from mom.
The # 1 Arm - one arm gets a straight line #1 because mom thinks they're the best.
The Mask - so the bad guys can't see them - it works better when applied in dots.

- after -

Note: I wrote this blog post awhile back, but am posting it today.  Since writing the post, I have learned that lotion can also make you into many other things which frequently include a cheetah. (Think fast legs, whiskers on the cheeks, cheetah spots on his fur wherever lotion is needed).

Dear Human Resources,

 Our company stresses the importance a work/life balance.  My kids are an important part of my life, and sometimes when I am at the office, I do miss them.  With this in mind, I have some suggestions.

• When in meetings, let's usually sit in the same seats.  If an employee happens to sit in a seat that is usually not their seat, assign one employee to scream at them (for example "JIM'S CHAIR, JIM'S CHAIR, JIM'S CHAIR") until they move to their appropriate spot.
• When employees notice that an employee will be using the restroom, I think it would be best if they followed that employee into their stall.  If they are bored while waiting for the employee to finish going to the bathroom, they may offer to pull of a piece of toilet paper.  When they pull out too much toilet paper, they may try to wrap the excess back onto the roll.  They must also insist on flushing.
• When 2 employees arrive at the copy machine at the same time, they could both yell "MINE" until a 3rd employee comes and determines who should get to use the copy machine first.
• One employee should be chosen to randomly move office supplies to locations where they do not belong.
• Instead of walking to meetings, employees should run or skip.  They could also race each other with the last person to arrive being a rotten egg. 
• Place important information regarding meetings that I need to attend into the purses and laptop bags of other employees; consider it my responsibility to find the papers prior to the meetings.
• When an employee has a cold, have them sneeze directly into the face of fellow employees.  Also, it may be interesting to have the sick employee wipe their nose on their sleeve despite having a kleenex box readily available.
• If two employees are having a conversation, assign a third employee to stand nearby and make loud noises. 

Thank you for your time and consideration, but on second thought, we may want to keep things as they are.

I know I brushed my teeth. I think I brushed my hair.

It's Monday.  I got the boys to school and daycare, and was driving to work deep in thought.  "I know I brushed my teeth this morning.  Now, did I brush my hair?  Yes, I think I did.  I think I brushed my hair, but I know I brushed my teeth."  This was my inner dialogue.

It's the third week of Kindergarten for my 5 year old and the third week at a new daycare for my 2 (almost 3) year old.  Mondays are always harder anyways. 

My oldest had a giant blister on his foot and wanted to get a ride to school instead of taking the bus. Of course I had my doubts - I mean maybe I should have just given him a ride to school - he's just a kindergartener and he did have a giant blister. I was second guessing my firm "you'll take the bus" stance, but I had decided to stand my ground, and I couldn't show any sign of doubt because kids sense that stuff.

A lot of detail is probably not necessary, but after protesting, pleading to be driven to school, crying, and running away, he did get on the bus.  It was only 7:25, and I was beat.

I turned toward the house to find my next victim. 

The youngest was still asleep, but he woke up when I was picking out some clothes from his drawers.  Luckily for me, he did not put 2 and 2 together, and went along with me packing up his bag, and even picked out a stuffed animal to go with him.  He got dressed, except for his jammy shirt which he was not interested in changing, and we got into the car to head to daycare. 

He probably assumed we were going to grammas house because he was so agreeable, and he loves grammas house.  Since we were almost to the daycare, I figured I'd better break the news to him, and said "Oh, I think we forgot your blanket, but I bet daycare has a blanket that you can use for your nap.  We can ask her when we get there." 

This is where his morning made a turn, and followed a similar pattern to his brother's with some protesting, requesting Mom, requesting Dad, and crying, but in the end, he stayed at daycare, and I headed towards work.

This leads me to the title of my blog and where I started off.  I left daycare feeling like I'd just been through a battle, and was just trying to gather myself together as I was heading into my office, just a few minutes behind schedule.  I suppose I always show up to work somewhere on the spectrum of dishevelment. 

This morning, I had a few things going for me.  In addition to being appropriately dressed, my teeth got brushed, and so did my hair...  I think.